Being loyal to yourself first is not something that most of us were taught to do. Most of us were taught to be loyal to others first and loyalty to ourselves….well….I know I never really had a sense of that until I started some personal development work. Even then, probably like you, my guilt consumed me and kept me in that duty to others. What I’m saying is… I had no loyalty to myself and I know that I became very resentful while I did not understand the power of being loyal to oneself! Think about that a moment……ARE YOU LOYAL TO YOURSELF?
We will be told….YOU ARE BEING SELFISH if you are loyal to yourself first!
I say NO I’m not and you are not! If you look after your own needs first, you are being of service to other people, and you will have a stability that will carry you through any storm that life presents. When you are loyal to yourself you are steering your own ship instead of being at the mercy of others.
Let me give you a very common example with Leaders of Teams.
If a leader is NOT loyal to themselves first, they usually end up giving and giving their time, with an open door policy to their team.
In some organisations this is considered a good thing. I do not believe it is good for the leader, the team or ultimately the organisation.
The leader ends up burnt out physically, mentally and spiritually because they are looking after everyone else except their own time frames and projects, they resent the team, resent the upper management, and start looking for another job because they think the job sucks! All that sucks is a lack of loyalty to themselves!
The team becomes weak and childlike because you are doing everything for them.
If that leader says no when they need to say no it will toughen up the people around them and make them more self sufficient or go and ask someone else. This is a GOOD thing! They remain loyal to the things they need to do and look after their energy and time frames. Everyone BENEFITS! How can that be selfish? You don’t have to be really mean either….but you may be interpreted as being mean……..a small sacrifice for your sanity AND as a leader you are developing your team instead of treating them as children! Hope this helps you understand how important this is! Jane