If this has or is happening to you then like many of my leader clients it probably means that you have been or felt threatened or intimidated by other people in your life. Unfortunately they are often family members. So if you can identify where this has happened in the past and acknowledge it , this is the first step in regaining your power to deal with certain behaviors in the workforce and your personal life. Even if people have consistently yelled at you or put you down or made any threatening gestures or comments it has had an impact on you and you need to bring it into a new perspective. There is a fear lurking around that continues to make you attract intimidation.
The fears can be death, hurt, loss. My experience continues to be that for those who attract intimidation, that they need to learn to challenge others more. They are usually very fearful of doing this. I have experienced this personally and can vouch for the change in my life as I became willing to challenge people’s negative actions towards me more; I don’t attract the “bullies” so much because I can stand up to them. I learnt from a lawyer and a male friend that most intimidation is “BLUFF” so that they get their own way. So if you remain weak (that is; not willing to challenge) then you will be a target for people to get their own way….just because you cannot say and mean “NO”.
So, in essence we need to be grateful for anyone who intimidates us as they are giving us feedback that we need to find our warrior side and say “no” in a really firm manner.
The worse thing that can happen when you speak up or stand up to a staff member who is intimidating is that they leave. Yahoo! That would be good for the whole team, don’t you think?